Nobody cares about you. Do what you want, when you want, and we’ll let you get away with it.

We love you. Screw up and we’re coming down hard on you. We hope – for all of our sakes – that you’ll lead a productive and fulfilling life.

The difference between the two statements above can be miniscule when looked at in the short term. In the long term, they could be the difference between prison or living without razor wire between yourself and the rest of the free world.

Most people would never actually utter the first, because it’s too mean, and while the second is kind, I’m not sure it gets said enough.

Of course, it may not be in the vocalization, but rather in the non-verbal communication when we fail to punish those who break the rules.

It makes me wonder if Mike Tyson, had he heard the second phrase, would have eaten Evander Holyfield’s ear.

It makes me wonder if Barry Bonds had not been allowed to get away with doing whatever he wanted, would have taken steroids.

The entire animal rights activist community wouldn’t be ready to rip off Michael Vick’s head for dog fighting, if only he had been told that he was loved when he was little.

How many of our local kids could stand a change in the way they’re disciplined?

I was talking to a member of our local law enforcement team and suggested that maybe the next time they pulled over a BHHS athlete for minor in possession or DUII – or any other completely moronic reason to get in trouble – he should break a couple of fingers as punishment.

Now, before you all rush to your computers to send me an email in protest ( This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it ), I’m not advocating violence. I’m just using the mental picture of painful punishment to help lift wayward youth back on the path to productive.

I just watched Forever Strong, a rugby movie where the coach of the “good guys” team said, “I’m more interested in turning out champion boys than champion teams.”

I think that is the big picture. 

I can remember when I was in school and playing sports that the old cliche of “high school quarterback can do no wrong” – especially during the season – was very much in effect.

And, I think I could draw the short line of correlation from those kids being able to get away with everything short of murder, to kids today – offspring of my generation – not being responsible for their actions.

My generation is allowing their children to get away with anything, probably because they were allowed.

Not all parents are that way, and I’d be called a negative ninny if I didn’t point out that not every kid is in trouble. In fact, there are many who are kind and generous. 

I read an ESPN report of two Missouri Western college football players who saved the life of a 17-month old toddler, whose grandmother had locked him and the keys in the car in 95-degree heat.

They broke the window with one swing and helped the family extricate the child who had some dehydration but suffered no other serious issues.

They were leaving practice and saw the grandmother pounding on the window. They didn’t have to turn around and go back. They’d had a long practice and were probably tired, but they went back and saved a life. 

I’m sure at some point in their life, someone had spoken the words, “We love you.”