The android in the Oval Office
Gazillions of years ago, an asteroid crashed to earth destroying entire species.
Trillions of dollars ago, a humanoid of unknown origins streaked across the political firmament, landed smack-dab in the Oval Office and systematically set about destroying capitalism. Because the gasbag automaton was charismatic and alluded to a Hawaiian birth certificate, we swooned over his robotic attributes: the angular chassis, smooth surfaces and those adorable loose screws rattling about the cranial component.
But within months, his reverbed and synthesized blather induced such foreboding I began unplugging all metallic appliances, fearful that the scrawny cyborg’s ad nauseam speeches held encrypted agitprop urging a countertop coup d’etat.
Are the deadly fluorescent compacts the android’s Trojan horse, unwittingly wheeled into our rapidly depreciating homes by a numbskull Congress? Which explains why this letter is postmarked Moose Snot, Idaho, where I’m currently pursuing new and exciting opportunities in animal husbandry and sub-prime mortgages.
Cheer for Hospice!
Many of the families and other caregivers in our area have benefitted (or will benefit) from the services of Curry County Home Health & Hospice.
Because of the broad span of help this agency offers, I am asking all of you reading this letter to please “cheer” for Hospice in the “We Hear You, America” online contest sponsored by Reader’s Digest. After the easy, initial sign-in, you just have to click 10 times on the word “cheer” in the lower left corner of the page you’ll see after going to this website: www.cheerforgoldbeach.com. Most of the towns participating are much larger than Gold Beach, and therefore have more people to “cheer.”
We all need to “cheer” everyday – every single one of us – and get our friends and neighbors to do the same, and their friends, too. It is so easy. Anyone from any city, state or country may “cheer” for 97444. Let’s all do our part to help our area’s Hospice Marketplace in Gold Beach with 10 daily “cheers”!
facilitator, the Caregiver Support Group
Re: Eileen Sorrel’s letter, “Power of words for good or ill” (Pilot, Jan. 26).
Please publish this letter in every future edition of the Pilot until we all “get it.”
Regarding: “Bike paths and budget woes” (At the helm, Pilot, Jan. 22) “…the state wants to give some lucky city $800,000 of our hard-earned tax money. ... I think Brookings should be that city.”
The piece cited two paragraphs from a citizen supporting the city of Brookings applying for the $800,000 ODOT (Oregon Department of Transportation) grant and concluded with “I couldn’t have said it better myself.”
Citizens are once more being led into a competitive frenzy of begging to receive money that is not theirs to spend. The facts are:
•ODOT receives the “grant” money for their Transportation Enhancement Program from the United States Treasury.
•The U.S. Treasury is broke, and for the last two-plus years has spent more ($3 trillion) than they have received in tax revenue at the rate of approximately $50,000 per second of every single day.
•In the two-and-a-half minutes it took to read “At the helm,” the U.S. Treasury spent around $7.5 million they didn’t have.
•The U.S. Treasury attempts to sell tens of billions of dollars of securities (debt) to foreign countries every month to replace their revenue shortage so they can continue spending money they don’t have.
•As foreign investors such as China, Japan, UK, Brazil, Russia, etc. begin to balk at purchasing more U.S. securities, the Federal Reserve and the U.S. Treasury creatively purchase the securities and then create electronic “funny” or “fiat money.”
To learn what $1 trillion dollars looks like (calculations and dimensions), go to www.pagetutor.com/trillion/calculations.html.
We must begin to live within our means, or soon, foreign nations will take that bike path along with the land under it for non-payment of our debt.
Recently, John Weiss alerted readers to the potential usage of phosphonate as a treatment for sudden oak death (SOD).
Phosphonate has been tested as a treatment for SOD in one tree species (coast live oaks) and has shown some efficacy in that species. However, in the study cited, phosphonate did not prevent coast live oaks from becoming infected. It also does not cure trees that are already infected (“Arboriculture & Urban Forestry,” Vol. 33, pp. 309-317). Phosphonate instead slows SOD infections in coast live oak, limiting disease spread within this tree species. How well it might work in other tree species like tanoak is unknown, as is its effect on disease spread from tree to tree.
Mr. Weiss does bring up an excellent point that will be the topic of discussion at a public information meeting to be held at 7 p.m., March 2, at the Chetco Community Public Library (location tentative).
Although there is evidence that the eradication effort made in Curry County has worked on some sites, funding issues in recent years have greatly impacted our ability to respond to and successfully treat new infections. And soon, what money we do have will run out. What do we do when that happens? Where do we go from here? Will the federal and/or state quarantines change?
Please join us to be a part of the discussion. We value your input.
Nancy K. Osterbauer,
Plant Health Program
Oregon Department of Agriculture
Fido for President.
I’ve noticed over the years that virtually all the agitators for animal rights have been left-wing Democrats.
I always chalked it up to their comfort with fuzzy- headed thinking. Upon further consideration, however, I am coming to believe there is a more nefarious plan afoot. The PETA people are trying to gradually increase the rights of pets until eventually they will have the right to vote. That would increase the constituency of the Democratic party by at least 100 percent. It is brilliant. Figure all the dogs will vote as they are told.
•Sure I will vote for universal healthcare... just throw the round thing again!
•The cats however won’t be any political threat. They will be busy planning how to overthrow all the cats in Venezuela to use the oil revenue to create a cat dominated pet U.N. which will eventually rule the world! Well, as long as Fifi the Persian doesn’t knock off Fluffy the Abyssinian in an internecine turf war. Of course, there would be advantages to animal politicians. We know a dog would at least leap into the line of fire to do its duty and save a human. On the flip side, however, you would have cats hiring a poodle as a stunt double in case of danger.
“Watch out, there’s an assassin!”
Ah heck, the world seems to be going to the dogs anyway, so we might as well let them vote on it.
Matching donations sought for theater
News flash! Brookings-Harbor Education Foundation (BHEF) has pledged to match donations to the Brookings-Harbor Community Theater, up to $1,000.
That means, if you donate to our theater, BHEF will match it! I feel very honored that our theater is recognized for our work with children. We truly care, and now we are feeling very appreciated.
Please help us meet the goal. Help us get the pledge money. Your donation will double because of BHEF’s pledge. Thank you in advance.
Donations may be dropped off at, or mailed to:
Harbor Performing Arts Center, 97900 Shopping Center Ave Suite #39, P.O. Box 7164, Brookings, OR 97415.
For information, call 541-661-2473, or visit: www. brookingsharborcommunitytheater.com.
president and director
Brookings-Harbor Community Theater
Brookings, what a wonderful place to live! We are on Fifield Street, which is only about three blocks long and has just been re-surfaced. There is a new condo development on the street and a bunch of children live there. Cars and trucks are parked on the street at the same location.
I had asked that the city make it a one-way street with a bike lane to protect the kids if they darted into the street from between the parked cars while chasing a ball. Also, I asked for speed-limit signs on each end of the street. It turns out that one-way streets that are straight and wide offer a speed opportunity and it is taken! But I sent email to a council member with my thoughts and guess what?
I received a reply the same day, and also a reply from our city manager! I was assured that the speed-limit signs would be placed soon. I thought maybe in a few weeks. Two signs went up the next day! The signs read “Slow, Children Playing,” and “Speed Limit, 25”!! Also, the yellow center line is a broken one, which I think will help hold down speeds.
Thank you Ron Hedenskog and Gary Milliman for caring about the kids!
The Outreach Gospel Mission in the first three weeks of the new year has distributed over 150 food boxes which have supplied meals for over 450 people.
This demand has significantly challenged our resources to help families this month. This amount does not include the 30-plus meals a day that are prepared at the OGM ministry. Donations of canned goods, bread, and other non-perishable food items would be appreciated. Cash donations will help us procure more assistance from the local food bank and other food outlets.
Michael J. Olsen
Outreach Gospel Mission